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about
This is the second installment of DRENT's series "The Body Keeps The Score" exploring eating disorder awareness and the impact trauma has on our lives. Here are some words of wisdom:
I wrote this song in the hopes of expressing how deeply hard yet joyful it is to embrace who you are and the trauma that you are holding onto. "The Body Keeps The Score I + II" has been a series that discusses at length; my struggles with an eating disorder; uncovering and processing traumas; and my ability and (sometimes) inability to cop with the lessons I've learned.
I recently became sober from the foods that trigger my behaviors and patterns. That decision was made shortly after shooting the music video for TBKTS2...when I hit "rock bottom." It's now been 30 days and it's time to be joyful and celebrate. I'm truly happy of this moment and time, but also reflecting deeply on why I've kept a different score. One that celebrates the strides I've made in recovery. The acceptance of my addiction and the person I want to be going forward.
BUT most importantly, the fact that I...have...to...try.
Because - I've learned that...is more than enough.
And I'm grateful for it.
You are the center of the universe, take in and be as much as you choose.
Forever Onward.
DRENT
lyrics
(Verse)
Fast food lines, pace I walk in, uh
Feel so numb, seal my tongue
Colors run, I’m hungry
Bright lights, fade nothing
Gain what’s taken from me
Fill my cup
Drive up
Don’t budge
Throw up
Just once
Crave too much
Overcome
This sucks
Only one
Save me some
Takes tolls
Save my soul, can’t play games no more
Tell me
Tell me
Tell me
I'm fine all alone
Til you “let me go”
Feel overdosed
Portion control
Outta comfort zones
Zone out with ghosts
Ghost those I know
Know I’m alone (no, I’m alone)
Pyramid scheme...deeper meaning
Superseding, overeating
Grasp straws, barely breathing
Weening off it, uh
Pretending I ignore
It’s not all about the numbers but
I’m tired of keeping score
I'm tired of keeping score
(Hook)
I’m tired of keeping score, (I’m tired of keeping score)
I’m tired of keeping score, (I’m tired of keeping score)
I’m tired of keeping score, (I’m tired of keeping score)
The body keeps the score, (the body keeps the score)
Dusk to dawn, what is risen
Neural pathways hidden in my limbic system
Dawn to dusk, what is missing
Neural pathways ridden in my limbic system
(Verse)
Take out lines, pace I walk out, uh
Tried to run, can’t keep up
Feel so lonely, maybe hungry
Bright lights, fade suddenly
I just wanna eat something
Chug cups of
Large soda
Had enough
Don’t throw up
Once again
Ate too much
Come over
Today sucks
Just get help
Savior self
Take a break
Watch my weight, can’t play no more games
Tell me
Tell me
Tell me
Hide all alone
How I let you go
Feel comatose
Losing control
Heavily withdrawn
Feeling withdrawal
Fault lines get drawn
Know it’s not my fault (no, it’s my fault)
Pyramid schemes, keeping believing
Chasing dreams, needing healing
If I can’t ease the pain
I’ll go insane and start feeding
off my emotions
Still I wonder
Is it about numbers but
I’m tired of keeping score
I'm tired of keeping score
(Hook)
I’m tired of keeping score, (I’m tired of keeping score)
I’m tired of keeping score, (I’m tired of keeping score)
I’m tired of keeping score, (I’m tired of keeping score)
The body keeps the score, (the body keeps the score)
Dusk to dawn, what is risen
Neural pathways hidden in my limbic system
Dawn to dusk, what is missing
Neural pathways ridden in my limbic system
[x2]
"But I gotta keep trying
I can't give up
If there's anything I've learned
I have to try"
credits
released May 18, 2021
LYRICS: DRENT
PROD. BY: TONY MAHONEY
RECORDING + MIXING: SEAN DIZZY BLADE @B08 STUDIOS
MASTERING: LEWIS MORRIS
DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY: EVYENIA KARAPOLOUS // @BEAUTYOFBAPHOMET
ARTWORK: HATEPH34R
This song wouldn't have happened without the help of ZENN MIND & AF VISUALS (ANDREW FORMALE) for their help on "THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE II" music video.
FOREVER ONWARD.
Special thanks to Bessel van der Kolk for writing "The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body In The Healing of Trauma" which has greatly impacted this Series.
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